Darque & Lovely: No one knows I'm here

Multicultural images of gothic, vintage, punk, and steampunk inspiration. See my Corporate Vamp blog and my Darque Manor home inspiration blog

There is no escape. You can’t be a vagabond and an artist and still be a solid citizen, a wholesome, upstanding man. You want to get drunk, so you have to accept the hangover. You say yes to the sunlight and pure fantasies, so you have to say yes to the filth and the nausea. Everything is within you, gold and mud, happiness and pain, the laughter of childhood and the apprehension of death. Say yes to everything, shirk nothing. Don’t try to lie to yourself. You are not a solid citizen. You are not a Greek. You are not harmonious, or the master of yourself. You are a bird in the storm. Let it storm! Let it drive you! How much have you lied! A thousand times, even in your poems and books, you have played the harmonious man, the wise man, the happy, the enlightened man. In the same way, men attacking in war have played heroes, while their bowels twitched. My God, what a poor ape, what a fencer in the mirror man is— particularly the artist— particularly myself!

Hermann Hesse (via ihatenietzsche)

Troof

(via intellectualismmmm)

(via carnytrash)

life-on-stranger-tides:

Life, Postponed
A good talk with a dear friend of mine today made me think about all the years of my life that were silently stolen by my ED. Studies (and people’s experience, if you please) show that depression, eating disorder or any other mental problem seems to hold back the development of the sick individual or slow it down, resulting in one of a kind stale existence.
I remember some details from the first year I came to live away from my home country, although it’s a little blurry now. I was so petrified of all the responsibilities that fell on me all of a sudden, coming from the home of an overprotective, emotionally distant mother, that I simply couldn’t function, although I really tried.
Every day when I had to take a step outside and go to the university my heart would be gripped in ugly fear, I’d be having troubles breathing at day and sleeping at night. To top it off – my roommate was the complete opposite of me, driving me insane on a…hourly basis, which made me even more confused and angry. However I was unaware of the real meaning of depression an anxiety at the time. I expressed my emotions in my usual way- withdrawing, being passive-aggressive, falling comfortable in my darkness, and quite literally at that, I was all goth’d up, doom-and-gloom. That resulted in my roommate spreading rumors about how weird I am, what a scary person and how crazy I am. Hearing this from a third person I was deeply hurt, but actually took it for true what she said.

After all it mirrored my opinion of me.

 Continue reading →

life-on-stranger-tides:

Life, Postponed

A good talk with a dear friend of mine today made me think about all the years of my life that were silently stolen by my ED. Studies (and people’s experience, if you please) show that depression, eating disorder or any other mental problem seems to hold back the development of the sick individual or slow it down, resulting in one of a kind stale existence.

I remember some details from the first year I came to live away from my home country, although it’s a little blurry now. I was so petrified of all the responsibilities that fell on me all of a sudden, coming from the home of an overprotective, emotionally distant mother, that I simply couldn’t function, although I really tried.

Every day when I had to take a step outside and go to the university my heart would be gripped in ugly fear, I’d be having troubles breathing at day and sleeping at night. To top it off – my roommate was the complete opposite of me, driving me insane on a…hourly basis, which made me even more confused and angry. However I was unaware of the real meaning of depression an anxiety at the time. I expressed my emotions in my usual way- withdrawing, being passive-aggressive, falling comfortable in my darkness, and quite literally at that, I was all goth’d up, doom-and-gloom. That resulted in my roommate spreading rumors about how weird I am, what a scary person and how crazy I am. Hearing this from a third person I was deeply hurt, but actually took it for true what she said.

After all it mirrored my opinion of me.

Continue reading

4 days ago